Girlfriend ends 6-year relationship after boyfriend stops giving her thousands for her business and family, blocks him when he refuses another request: 'I’m now trying to save and invest for my own future '

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  • A couple argues as a boyfriend begins setting financial boundaries after years of helping his girlfriend with her business and other expenses.
  • [27M] My girlfriend [27F] ended our 6 year relationship after I refused another large financial request
  • 27M, girlfriend 27F, together over 6 years, long distance. 3 years while I was at university and 3 years after graduating.
  • We can see were this is going...

    There have been other issues in the relationship, but money became the biggest issue.
  • Her business has been in the works and over the past year she has had increasing costs for things like stock and other startup expenses. This is when the requests for larger amounts became more frequent, sometimes hundreds or thousands.
  • Wow... that's a lot of money. Money he's not getting back.

    I've helped financially when I could, including towards a business trip. I helped her mum financially once last year and was later asked to help again with a larger amount. There have also been other requests for over £1,000 that weren't business related. I generally pay for our dates and activities too.
  • I wouldn't say I bankrolled her, but I also haven't done nothing financially. I feel the requests over the past year have become too much for me, especially because | already feel behind financially.
  • I'm now trying to focus on investing and saving for a house. Looking back, I feel prioritising the relationship financially at times has probably set me back.
  • Of course, my friend. Your life, your money, your decisitions.

    That's ultimately my responsibility, but I'm 27 now and can't keep making the same financial decisions I made at 21 or 22.
  • Yesterday she called after we'd barely spoken for a while and asked for another large amount. I said no. I technically could have accessed the money, but doing so would have meant sacrificing my own financial goals.
  • She ended the relationship and blocked me.
  • There were other things she was unhappy about, which I accept, but money was ultimately the main factor this time. When I don't give her money, it often feels like the relationship reaches a tipping point.
  • Specific advice I'm looking for: was refusing to use money allocated towards my own savings and investments an unreasonable financial boundary, given the amount of financial help I've already provided throughout the relationship?
  • A stack of cash changes hands after a boyfriend says he has already given his girlfriend thousands while trying to save for his own future.
  • Desperate_Stretch855 Is this strictly a long distance relationship that occurs over the phone/internet? Have you actually met this person? If so, how often do you see them in-person?
  • Far-Season-695 She was using you so yeah you were justified in stopping the money train
  • JohnExcrement Count your blessings. Any "partner" who makes these kinds of financial demands and expects you to meet them needs to be in your rear view.
  • germanium66 Let's be grateful that you didn't bankroll her for another 6 years.
  • SetDifficult1618 It certainly sounds to me like she was using you for your money () Relationships are supposed to be about supporting each others goals and overall wellbeing. Was she supporting those thing for you?
  • per54 She probably had a local boyfriend too. You weren't her boyfriend. You were her cash cow
  • A couple sitting closely together at a restaurant and looking at each other with love.
  • m33chm That wasn't your girlfriend, that was your sugar baby. No, your boundary was not unreasonable. It was unfair to yourself to have taken so long to implement such a boundary.
  • phyncke Now you know why she was with you. It was all about money. You will be better off. Some people will just use you and that seems to be what was happening with your relationship - it was not really a relationship.

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